Thereafter
by Florexandra
Summary: This is a sequel to Denouement written by the awesome SandfireKat. (Don't worry, I got permission to do this XD) After Cameron's death, Kay falls apart. She loved that man more than anyone could ever know... and now he was gone. She worried that one day, her memory would take the last of him away too until something happened. Something she never expected but as Cameron used to say,


**This is a sort of sequel to** _ **Denouement**_ **written by the awesome DeceptionHeadcanons (Who is an AMAZING writer so I hope you like it friend.)**

 **No worries, I got permission to do this plus this is an idea the two of us had been going back and forth about. Now I warn you, this story will be very angst-y with some fluff thrown in there and technically Cameron is not in the story because of it... I mean technically he is but at the same time he isn't. This story will be split into two or three parts... I promise you guys... that I will** _ **try**_ **to keep it in that range. Key word: Try. I think it will this time though. XD**

 **Now I've never really written angst so if you happen upon tear stains while reading... they're my tear stains... enjoy guys!**

One week. It had been just one week since... since Cameron had taken that bullet for her... since that bullet had taken his life. After the funeral, Kay didn't go back to work. She decided take some time off. Deakins had told her that her job would be there when she came back. Kay had been tempted to replace the "when" with "if".

Kay had worn Cameron's favourite sweater everyday and slept on _his_ side of the bed they had shared because his pillow still smelled like him. It was a desperate but -in the end- futile attempt to feel like he was still there. She would have cried herself to sleep but she didn't want to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw him, smiling that adorable dorky smile that he always had ready for her. Every. Single. Damn. Time.

Her phone rang. She had no intention of ever talking to anyone again but that was the third time her phone had rung in the past half hour. Reluctantly she picked up the phone, "Hello?" She said with a broken voice.

" _Hi Kay._ " A familiar voice said making her eyes widen, " _It's Jonathan._ " Her heart sank as she mentally face-palmed. Of course it was Jonathan. It couldn't be anyone else anymore.

"Hi Jonathan." She replied, trying not to sound too broken, "How are you?"

" _As well as I can be right now._ " He replied, trying not to sound too broken himself. His baby brother was gone... and there was _no_ way of bringing him back. Yet, somehow, he had the feeling that this was hitting Kay a _lot_ harder than him. After all, she had held Cameron in her arms as the life left his body. There was some unfinished business Jonathan had to deal with, something he felt obligated to tell her. " _Listen, there's something you need to know._ " He started, " _Cameron... he had a surprise for you._ "

"He did?"

" _Yeah. Have you looked in his nightstand drawer?_ "

"No?" Kay questioned, wondering where this was going.

" _Okay, take a look, there's a false bottom in it._ "

Kay got up and opened the drawer, carefully taking out its contents and the false bottom. Inside was a black velvet box, "Wha? Jonathan... what is this-"

" _It was our mother's ring. You should know that Cameron... he wanted to marry you Kay. He really did love you._ "

Kay let out a heartbroken sob, "I know. I-I know he wanted to marry me."

Jonathan's eyes widened but of course, Kay didn't see that, " _Wha- how?_ "

"Wh-when he..." Kay had been trying to keep the memory of what happen buried in her mind, "When he... had been shot, he asked me to marry him."

Jonathan was silent for a moment, " _...What did you say?_ "

Kay was having trouble keeping her tears at bay, "I said yes. I-I wanted to marry him too."

Jonathan let out a shaky sigh, " _I'm glad he knew that._ " He paused for a moment, " _I agreed to him using the ring because I kind of... wanted to prove that I think you were the best person for my brother and that we all consider you as part of our weird little family. He loved you... probably more than you know._ "

"He took a bullet for me Jonathan..." She forced herself to say, "I don't think it gets any clearer than that." She tried to joke.

Jonathan gave a sad chuckle, " _He would want you to have it._ "

"I-I can't..." She tried to protest, "It's your mother's ring a-and I can't just-"

" _Please..._ " He cut off her objection, " _Please let me honour my brother's last wish. I-I owe him to him._ "

Kay was silent for a moment then sighed, "Alright..." She shakily opened the black velvet box. Inside was a vintage-style halo engagement ring with a small diamond in the center. It wasn't too flashy but glittered brilliantly in the light. Kay was speechless for a moment but managed to find her voice, "It's beautiful..."

" _He was really excited when we found it... Kay, I know we're not that close but know that if you ever need anything, I'm more than willing to help._ "

"Thank you Jonathan. The same goes for me."

" _Well, I guess I'll talk to you later then._ " Jonathan said, unsure how to end the conversation.

"Yeah... and Jonathan?"

" _Yes?_ "

"Thank you."

Jonathan chuckled, " _Don't mention it. Bye Kay._ "

"Bye." With that Jonathan hung up and Kay put her phone aside again. She leaned against the headboard and wrapped herself in her blanket. Lately she just couldn't get warm no matter how many layers she wore or how many blankets she wrapped around herself. She opened the ring box again and hesitated for several minutes before taking the ring out and placing the box aside. She let out a shaky breath as she studied the piece of jewellery.

She tried to imagine how Cam would have popped the question but... at the same time she couldn't. She couldn't possibly imagine how he would have done it because he probably would have done something unexpected. Something she wouldn't have seen coming. He would have made some big speech. She would have probably called him an idiot for not shutting up and letting her say yes. God, she missed him so much. A small part of her wished that she had died with him that night, that there had been a second bullet that could have taken her life too. Cameron would have called _her_ an idiot for ever thinking like that. He would have said something stupid like, "Don't you see, with me gone, you won't have to put up with me anymore." Despite their joking, 'putting up' with him was one of her favourite things.

She slid the ring on her left ring finger with such unsteady hands that she almost dropped it. It was a perfect fit. Her eyes began to water once more and her face broke into a heartbroken smile and she actually let out a laugh. She was engaged. Cameron Black had given her a ring... and that was as close to marriage she would ever get. She wished she could hold him in her arms again, run her fingers through his hair like she used to, just kiss him one more time, and tell him how much she loved him.

She heard a knock on the door, "Kay?" Dina called out, "Kay darling, are you in there?" Of course she was. Kay had barely left their-her room since the funeral, "Kay, you need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry Dina." She sniffled.

"Kay, please." When Dina didn't get a response, she sighed, "C-Cameron would want you to keep your strength up." The British woman heard a muffled sob and she immediately felt guilty for playing the 'Cameron' card but she was worried about her friend. She heard Kay telling her she can come in. Kay sat up as Dina came in and sat down next down next to her, "How are you feeling darling?"

"I-I don't know..." Kay said. She hadn't been feeling well at all. For the past few days, she had just felt nauseous but she had brushed it off to just feeling intense guilt for Cameron's death.

"Maybe, you'll feel a little better when you eat something." Dina smiled. She had been heartbroken at the news of her friend's death but seeing the toll it had taken on Kay, Dina took it upon herself to make sure that the FBI agent was being taken care, just until she could get through her grief. She took her friend's hand, "Come on, I made some lunch."

Kay got out of bed and followed Dina to the kitchen, "You know, one of these days, bringing up his name won't work." She tried to joke.

Dina let out a tiny chuckle, "Well, until that day comes, I'll keep playing that card." She noticed the glittering ring on Kay's finger and gave a small smile, "Cameron adored you, Kay. He'd do anything for you. I hope you realize that what happened was not your fault."

Kay felt her lip quiver, "But it was. It was my fault he was there. It was my fault he got shot. It's my fault he's gone."

Dina pursed her lips, "Let me ask you something." She gave Kay a serious look, "Did you tell him to take that bullet for you?"

"No."

"Did you pull the trigger?"

Kay looked down, "...No."

"Then you are _not_ at fault." She pulled her friend in for a hug, "I know that this is hard." She felt Kay hug her back very loosely, "I know you feel like it's your fault but believe me when I tell you that you are the only person blaming yourself for what happened. None of us blame you. None of us." She tightened the hug when she felt Kay began to shake with emotion.

"I-I'm s-sorry." Kay whispered as she tried to control herself.

"It's alright." Dina gave her friend one last squeeze before letting go, "I hope you're hungry. I made some soup."

"It does smell good." Kay said, trying to smile.

"Fortunately, soup is one of the few things I can make well." Dina chuckled as she poured ladles into two bowls and brought them over to the table. They sat down and started to eat. Kay had to admit that after not eating much, her body was very much welcoming the hot soup but at the same time... her body seemed to be rejecting it. Kay dropped her spoon. Dina looked at her with concern, "Kay? Are you alright?"

Kay was about to say that she was feeling fine when she suddenly felt her stomach churn. Kay ran to the bathroom and she bent over the toilet bowl as the contents of her stomach began to spill out. Dina was quick to follow her to the bathroom and held her hair back Kay continued to throw up. After a couple of minutes, Kay's stomach finally calmed down.

"I'm so sorry; I thought that the soup was fine-"

"No, no, it's not your fault. I'm sure it's just a stomach bug-" Kay's eyes suddenly widened in realization as she remembered what the date was. Her eyes began to water, "Oh my God..." She fell back and sat on the bathroom floor, "Oh my God. It can't be... I-I can't be."

"Kay? What's wrong?" Dina asked with concern laced in her voice.

"I'm late."

Dina gave a confused chuckle, "What do you mean you're late? It's not like you need to go-" Dina's voice suddenly paused as she realized what Kay meant by 'late', "Oh. A-are you sure?"

Kay nodded, "I'm sure..." Kay got up off the floor and took something out of the bathroom cupboard, "C-can I... can I have a minute?" Dina nodded as she left the bathroom.

A few minutes later, Kay and Dina were sitting against the wall outside of the bathroom as they waited. "Did you know that Cameron once got a black eye from trying to get out of a strait jacket?" She chuckled as Kay gave a tiny smile, "The first time he tried it, he ended up punching himself in the face, right in the eye. Got him a nice shiner for about a week."

Kay smile widened ever so slightly, "That sounds like Cam..."

"Kay?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you and Cameron ever... talk about this?" She asked.

 _Three months ago..._

" _Do you ever wonder if you'd be a good parent?" Cameron asked out of the blue one evening as he and Kay were mindlessly watching some rom-com._

" _What?" She lifted her head off his shoulder and looked him in the eyes, "Why do you ask?"_

 _He shrugged, "I don't know... I guess I've just always wondered if I were ever to be a father, I would just hope that I wouldn't be like my own dad. He wasn't exactly the best."_

 _Kay smiled and shook her head, "You don't need to hope for that. I know for a fact that you would be an amazing parent." She then lightly smirked, "And yes, that time, calling you amazing was fine."_

 _He chuckled as he pulled her closer and she rested her head in the crook of his neck as she wrapped her arms around him. He rested his head on hers, "And I know for a fact that you would be an incredible mother."_

" _I don't know about that..."_

" _You would!"_

 _She rolled her eyes, "Do you have anything in mind for your future children? Do you know if you'd want a boy? A girl?" She asked as she closed her eyes and relaxed in his arms._

" _I would just want them to be happy and healthy. Although, I'm not going to lie... I have always kind of wanted a daughter."_

" _Really?"_

" _Yeah, I mean I'd love to have a son too but I would love to have a little girl to dote over and scare away any potential suitor when she's older."_

" _Oh, I already feel sorry for any daughter you might have." Kay joked, looking up at him._

" _Hey, I do have feelings Kay." He pouted._

" _I know. That's what makes it kinda fun." She closed her eyes once more as she drifted to sleep, "I love you Cam."_

" _I love you too Kay." Cameron knew that he wanted a future and he knew that wanted it with Kay. If she would have him, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Now he knew he would need to ask Johnny if he could use a certain something that used to belong to their mother, not knowing that he would never get to give it to Kay personally._

"Kay?" Dina called out, bringing Kay back to reality. Dina noticed that fresh tears had rolled down Kay's cheeks.

"We had talked about it..." Kay whispered. Just then her phone beeped, "It's been two minutes..." Kay lifted her hand off her leg to pick up the stick object in front of her, "I-I can't do it..."

Dina took her hand, "Do you... do you want me to check for you?" Kay squeezed her friend's hand and nodded. Dina picked up the item off the ground. It was a positive pregnancy test. Dina tried to hold back a sob of joy, "Kay... you're pregnant."

"I'm pregnant?" She asked in disbelief. Dina nodded with shining eyes and handed her the test and Kay looked at it with disbelieving eyes. For one moment, she had felt pure bliss at the prospect of being a mother but it was quickly overshadowed by the fact that her baby wasn't going to have a father. She was pregnant with Cameron's baby... and he was gone. "I'm pregnant." Kay didn't think she had it in her anymore but her eyes began to water as tears quickly streamed down her face.

Usually, moments like these would be considered the happiest moment in someone's life but for Kay, she was so distraught to the fact that not only was the love of her life gone but now she was pregnant with his baby. Dina was quick to hug her in support, "Kay, are you alright?"

The tears continued to fall as Kay tried to clear her throat, "I-I d-d-don't kno-ow." She tried to wipe away the tears but they were falling faster than she could wipe, "I-I-I d-don't know how to be a mother. I can't be a parent! Not without Cameron. Not when having a baby was something he wanted a-and he can't be here. He's not here because of me... and now-"

"Shh, shh. It's okay. You'll figure something out. Whatever you decide to do, we'll be here for you." Dina reassured her, "...Do you want to keep the baby?"

Kay nodded her head, "I do..."

"Maybe you should go see the doctor, get a professional confirmation of your condition then figure out what you're going to do."

After a few moments, Kay calmed down and took a deep breath, "If the doctor confirms it... I want to keep the baby."

"Are you sure?" Dina asked. She wanted to make sure that Kay was thinking straight.

Kay nodded, "I'm sure." She let out a broken sob, "I-I owe it to him. I owe it to myself."

"Kay, you have to think about yourself too."Dina tried to remind her.

"I am... I never thought I would be a mother a-and after... after what happened..." She let out a sob. A sob of joy, "I didn't think I would ever be. Cameron was the only one I ever thought about having children with." She placed a hand on her still flat stomach, "Dina... I wanted to one day have a family with Cameron." Dina gave her a sympathetic look, "I thought it would be impossible now but-"

"Nothing's impossible." Dina said, repeating the very phrase Cameron used to say so much.

Kay felt her eyes tear up again, "Dina... the love of my life is gone." Dina took hold of her friend's hand, "Whatever... dreams or... plans we made with each other can never happen but..." Kay let out a heartbroken smile, "I have something to live for again."

"Kay..."

"Did you know that Cameron was going to propose?" Dina was silent for a moment, "Dina, did you know?"

Dina slowly nodded, "He wanted it to be a surprise. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't want to make you feel worse-" She was cut off by Kay giving her a tight hug. It was the most energetic thing Kay had done in over a week.

"I'm not mad. I would have done the same thing if I was in your shoes."

Dina hugged her back, "So what are you going to do?"She asked as they pulled away from their hug

"Can you keep this just between the two of us for now?" Kay pursed her mouth, "I just want to make sure everything is going to be okay before..."

"Before getting anyone's hopes up." Dina finished. Kay nodded. Dina smiled at her, "Of course. Whatever makes you feel comfortable."

Kay was grateful to have a friend like Dina, "Thank you." She knew she could trust her.

A few days later, Kay went back to work. First thing she did before anything else was go into Deakins' office. Deakins raised her head to look up at Kay as she entered, "Agent Daniels."

"Sir."

"Have a seat." She motioned to the chairs in front of her desk, "And close the door behind you." Kay closed the door and went over to sit down. Deakins offered a small smile, "Welcome back."

Kay nodded, "Thank you."

Her smile turned to a look of condolence, "I'm sorry for your loss Kay. Despite his oddities, Cameron was a good man."

Kay chuckled sadly, "He was a great man." Kay looked her boss straight in the eyes, "Sir, there's something I should tell you."

"What is it?"

Kay hesitated for a moment, "I-I'm going to need to take some time off in a few months."

"In a few months?"

There was no beating around the bush, "In eight months to be exact." She was ripping the band-aid off.

Deakins seemed confused for a moment and then her eyes widened with realization, "Agent Daniels, are you..." Kay nodded, "When did you find you find out?"

Kay pulled out a sonogram photo from her jacket pocket, "I went to the doctor a few days ago to get confirmation."

Deakins picked up the photo, "You didn't know?" Kay shook her head, "Which means Cameron didn't know, did he?"

"...No..." Kay whispered.

Deakins looked at the agent in front of her and handed her the photo back, "So I'm to assume that you're about a month along?"

"Yes."

"Thank you for letting me know." The older woman said as Kay slipped the photo back into her pocket.

"I also wanted to ask you if you could keep this quiet for now." Deakins gave her a confused look, "I only told you now because you are my superior but I'd rather keep this quiet... just until I'm sure that nothing will go wrong."

"Ah, you want to get through the first trimester before telling anyone."

Kay nodded, "Exactly."

"You do realize that I will eventually have to put you on desk duty at some point?"

"Yes sir."

"I assume you'll have told people by then?"

"Assuming my baby doesn't do it first." Kay tried to joke referring to how her growing baby will eventually make her appearance change.

"You'd better get back to work Agent Daniels."

Kay nodded once more, "Yes sir." Kay got up from her seat and headed out the door.

Just as her hand was about to open the door, "And Kay?" Kay turned and faced her boss, "Congratulations."

"Thank you." With that Kay walked out of Deakins' office and took a deep breath. She walked back to her office. She sat down at her desk, her eye immediately catching the photo sitting next to her computer. It was of her and Cameron during Christmastime, the only Christmas they had spent as a couple. Dina had taken the picture. Kay had been wearing a red sweater and Cameron had been wearing a green one. They were under the mistletoe, which may or may not have been placed there by Jonathan. Cameron had had his arms wrapped around her as she kissed his cheek and he had a love-struck smile on his face as he smiled at the camera. It was almost as if he was smiling at her. She looked at the photo with a loving grin. God, she missed him so much.

She looked away from the photo and tried to focus on her work but it didn't help that her baby was craving a chocolate bar. She got up and went to the vending machine. As she walked back to her office, she couldn't help but hold out a sliver of hope that this was all just some bad dream and Cameron would be in her office, ready to annoy her with conspiracy theory for a case or to tell her about some stupid thing he found online that would "be useful" even though it never really wasn't. She walked back into her office but he wasn't there. He wouldn't be there ever again. She would never get to see him smile at her again, the smile that made her heart flip every time.

She would never get to see how his face would have lit up at the prospect of being a father. He would never get to experience the terror and the joy of having created a whole human life. He would _never_ get to meet his child. Kay closed the door of her office behind her as she slid down and sat on the floor as those realizations hit her once more. The tears began to run down her face again. Just when she thought she was all cried out. As a sob escaped her throat, she whispered, "I'm sorry Cameron... I'm so sorry."

 **So... did you guys like it? Did you cry? Is it bad that I'm kinda hoping you cried? I'm sorry...**

 **So again... this was originally meant to be a one-shot... but I have no self-control and this story is going to be longer that I had thought it would. It's gonna be a bittersweet ride of angst and family fluff and I'm taking everybody with me! Why did I start writing angst? Well... I have learned that... quite frankly, it's kinda fun! *Insert Evil Laugh of Your Choice Here***

 **Don't worry, my other stories will get updates soon but I was just too excited to share this to wait!**

 **Angst aside, I really hoped you guys liked it... and I really hope you cried. *Runs Away***


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